Don't Be Afraid

"But just when Joseph had resolved to dismiss Mary quietly, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit." --Matthew 1:20

God's angels are always saying, "Be not afraid." Why? Because, almost without exception, we are terrified whenever we realize that God is speaking directly to us, choosing us (!), as those who will carry God's promises.
The birth narrative in Matthew's gospel focuses on the experience of Joseph of Nazareth, in contrast to Luke's gospel, which focuses on Mary. We entered into a rich exploration of what the stories have in common, how they are different, and the ways that they compliment one another.
Matthew Chapter One states the circumstances so succinctly that their gravity appears understated: "When Jesus' mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit." That's quite a "find!!"
When we encounter Joseph he is considering cutting Mary and the unborn Jesus loose. The whole situation is one that brings danger to Mary, shame to them both, and deep social embarrassment for Joseph. Additionally, he has had to wrestle with testimony from Mary that he finds difficult, if not impossible, to believe. His essential decency moved him to deal with Mary in a private manner, rather than defending his "honor" publicly and risking her well-being to the armed hands of the "righteous." Yet, he is still going to walk away, and she will be on her own, far less powerful than even her besmirched husband-to- be. Joseph has limits to his compassion, and though he demonstrates a gentleness, self-interest will dominate in the end.
Except that with God, the story is never over! The angel's intercession adds a new dynamic. Joseph is encouraged to act in his faith, even if its mustard seed is hard to discern right now. He is promised that Mary's calling, and his (authored by God and not by himself), is part of the incredible saving action of God in the world, which is much larger than either of them. Yet they are included; God is not saving the world without them (chew on that for a while, and what the story is saying to us!). Joseph reconsiders. We doubt that he stops being terrified. Rather, we realize that being scared doesn't have to mean saying, "No." Wrapped in God's promises, we can be frightened and still say, "Let it be with me according to your word."
In our discussion, we brought the Matthew and Luke narratives together. We considered the pained conversations Mary and Joseph may have had, and who in Nazareth may have known about the development. We considered the possibility that Mary fled Nazareth "with haste" to go to her cousin Elizabeth's because Joseph had dismissed her! In that case, his reconsideration, with God's help, would have moved him to go to where Mary was, repent his lack of fidelity, and to join with her to make their way to Bethlehem, perhaps not returning to Nazareth before they did. In this event, Matthew's story presents Joseph in the best, albeit edited, light.
There is another possibility. That is, that initally Mary fled without telling Joseph, and only later, when reunited with her, did he hear the truth (or what he was "able" to hear). His struggle, with the angel's blessed intervention, would have happened when Mary was already several months pregnant.
Both possibilities are compelling, and invite us to explore how God addresses--and transforms--our fear in any number of varied situations.
One thing seems sure. In their crisis, in this time of enormous challenge, Joseph and Mary move towards each other. This is what God helps us to do.
Reflect personally on the ways that God is calling you, and how God helps you to be able to say "Yes" precisely when you are scared. Also, consider what limits you/we perceive to compassion and faithfulness in our community. When do we surrender to self-interest? How is God delivering us to a new place, even now?